Loud Thinking

To Stay Stress Free, Mind Your Own Business.

It is not your business to love me, it is mine.
-Byron Katie

One of Byron Katie’s teachings is that in order to stay stress free, we need to stay in our own business. She recognizes that there are only three types of businesses in this universe:
Other’s Business
God’s Business
My Business
Katie observes that most of the stress that we create in our mind is due to mentally doing other people’s business.

Example thoughts of being in “Other’s business”
You need to get a job
I want you to be happy
You should be on time
You need to take better care of yourself
John does not listen to me
Julie did not smile at me
My husband should love me more
My children do not care for me enough
My employer should appreciate me
My mother should understand me
People should be kinder to me
You will see that in all the above examples, the person thinking these thoughts is linking her well being to something someone else should do and should not do, which obviously is not in her control. It is thus the other person’s business to do or not do what they need to do, not ours.

Example thoughts of being in “God’s business”
I’m worried about the possible earthquake in california
I fear that the river will get flooded next year
I fear that that the world will end in 2012
When will it rain this season?
When will I die?

By Byron Katie’s definition, anything that cannot be done by us or others is God’s business. You will see that the circumstances in the thoughts above are outside the control of human beings and is thus God’s business.

If we do not waste our energy in minding other people’s business or God’s business, we can be much more focused on minding our own business, and thus be relatively stress free.

Examples of staying in “My business”
Loving myself
Taking care of my health
Maintaining peace in my mind
Doing what is right for my heart
Giving my 100% in whatever I take up
Taking full responsibility for my life without resorting to blame
Thus the next time we feel stress, the best thing to do is to take a look at whose business we are being in. Chances are that we are doing other’s business or God’s business. We can then laugh at it, let go, and get back to our own business – which is really doing the right thing for ourselves, instead of dwelling on external circumstances that we have no control over and becoming miserable.

Byron Katie