Loud Thinking

Archive for July, 2013

25 things I know now that I am 60 years young

With age comes wisdom and a lot of smart life advice.

What I Know Now
Before I turned 60, I had moments of dread unlike any big birthday before. The others had a fun factor—at 50, the jokes were about reaching the half-decade mark. At 55, I was double nickels. The only “joke” about turning 60 was my proximity to declining health. Not funny at all.

But, as I discovered, turning 60 is a huge milestone—one to be embraced. It’s the beginning of a decade informed by wisdom, self-acceptance, love for family and friends, and best of all, great discounts that make me proud to be my age.

Here are 25 things I learned when I entered my seventh decade.

1. Patience, patience, patience
At this age, I understand that patience is the greatest virtue. That 16-year-old waitress who messed up my order could’ve been my daughter. That elderly gentleman driving 25 miles per hour reminds me of my dad. Now, I think twice before I snap, hoping that when I goof up or drive in two lanes, someone will grant me the same gift.
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2. Toxic relationships aren’t worth it
The clock’s ticking, and I’m not wasting one more minute on people who bring me down, like the friend who is always complaining that I’m not supportive enough or the family member who always belittles me. Take my lead and say “Adios!” out loud or mentally wave good-bye. Either way, vamoose to people who nurture negativity, hit below the belt, or blow you off when something better comes along.
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3. Let the five pounds stay there
Long shirts or tunics your best friend? Good for you! I no longer obsess over those last five—the hardest to lose—because it’s simply not worth the deprivation. I even squeeze into Spanx for special occasions. At this age, disguise is a quick and welcome antidote to reality.
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4. Senior discounts rock
Two bucks here, 30% off there—it adds up, and it seems almost naughty to get a senior discount when I feel so much younger than my age. Go to Gift Card Grannyfor a list of 196 discounts for seniors.
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5. Being called “Ma’am” makes me feel old
Truthfully, when you call me “ma’am” it makes me feel like I’m my mother-in-law, who is old. And don’t call me “young lady” either. It’s condescending. I don’t need any special title just because I’ve hit 60. I’m still 40 inside my head.
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6. Forgetting something does not mean Alzheimer’s
Every time I forget a word or a name, I’m convinced I have Alzheimer’s. My friends are convinced they are getting Alzheimer’s, too. It seems to be the biggest worry amongst people over 60. (For the record, I don’t have Alzheimer’s because I researched the difference between normal memory loss and Alzheimer’s, and you can, too.) Forgetting things is a normal part of aging. It’s when we can’t remember how to do daily tasks or something that just happened, that we need to worry.
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7. “Organ recitals” are very popular
I’m not talking about music, I’m talking about, “My back went out,” My cholesterol’s too high,” I’m having a colonoscopy tomorrow,” “My blood pressure is off the charts.” I personally don’t enjoy this kind of banter—it’s boring and aging—but I’ve learned that it comes with the territory. People like to talk about their ailments. The best thing you can do: sit politely (or excuse yourself for a glass of water) until the subject changes.
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8. Sunscreen = good, sun = bad
I look at my skin and my hands and see brown spots (or age spots). These are the result of too much sun and not enough sunscreen in my youth (along with the use of foil reflectors—what was I thinking?). I’ve reversed the my formula—less sun and lots of sunscreen. I’ve also discovered that a good foundation can hide those spots.
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9. Facebook isn’t a waste of time
I suddenly delight in connecting with pals from my past, more so than ever before. Sure, I have wonderful friends in my adult life, but there’s something uplifting, energizing, and meaningful about finding an old friend on Facebook, a friend who knew me when I was in my formative years. If you’re not on Facebook, you’re missing something.
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10. Not planning for the inevitable is stupid
I’ve started thinking about things like long-term care insurance, estate planning, and end-of-life issues more seriously than ever before. Why? I have friends whose parents have recently died and left everything a mess. I vow to get everything in place so my kids don’t have to make tough decisions while weeping over my hospital bed. A good place to start? HelpGuide.org for medical directives, and the government web site on long term care.
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11. Being an over-achiever doesn’t matter
Good grades in college, career success—the past doesn’t matter to me as much now. My mind is all about the present. Where once I did most activities to bump up my resume, now I choose activities that keep my brain stimulated, which in turn makes me stimulating—and hopefully good company. At this age, I want to be current, not a dinosaur.
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12. Romance still exists
As empty nesters, my husband and I split a whole cherry pie for dinner, if that’s what we want. We sleep in till 10 a.m., if there’s no compelling reason to get up. We are all about us as often as we can be. We’ve figured out that sharing the little things together keeps the spark alive.
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13. Being proud of my kids isn’t boastful
I’ve lived long enough to see the fruits of my parental labor, and after years of hard work and financial sacrifice, I now sit back and see what kind of adults my children have become. I’m pleased with the results and I think it’s okay to talk about that with friends and family.
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14. Being fit is about strength, not toned abs
In a perfect world, I’d like a better butt and flat abs, but I’ll settle for feeling good and strong. “At this age, it’s about endurance, moderate strengthening, balance and stretching,” says Carly Stewart, M.D., medical expert atMoneyCrashers.com. “It’s about maintaining muscle mass so you don’t get physically weaker as you age.”
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15 My hairstylist is my anti-aging consultant
When she suggested I go with a shorter ‘do because shorter styles are less aging than longer ones, I said, “ Lop it off.” She was right. I get many more positive comments now. Thinking of a short ‘do? Find great styles here.
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16. Frizzy, dry hair looks bad
I now realize my dry, brittle frizzy hair (from years of processing) is the appearance equivalent of an unmade bed in an otherwise neat room. The eye only notices the messiest thing. Here again, I turn to my hairdresser for anti-aging help. My miracle: a keratin treatment, which is expensive, I’ll admit (about $150), but it reduces frizz by 95%, gives my hair shine and luster, and reduces blowdrying time significantly. Hello, Beautiful!
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17. Invest in a good pair of tweezers
I hate to admit it, but I’ve noticed a few coarse hairs growing on my chinny chin chin—yuck! Completely unacceptable. When my older sister chose laser with not totally great results, I opted for tweezers. Really good, expensive tweezers can work wonders.
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18. Laugh every day
An episode of The Big Bang Theory, a Dave Barry column, time with a silly friend—find little things that make you laugh every day. Besides being fun, laughter also has proven health benefits. It lowers blood pressure, reduces stress hormones, even suppresses pain. And it’s something I can do even when other parts of my body fail me.
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19. Problem solving comes easier
Whether it’s because of changes in the brain that actually improve certain skills as we age, or the fact that you just don’t get to be 60 without knowing how best to get from A to B, wading through the details to figure out how to solve a problem is so much simpler than it was when we were younger.
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20. Control isn’t the holy grail
Between my 20s and 50s, I believed I knew the answer to almost everything. I didn’t just suggest solutions; I inserted myself into the solution. By the time I got to my late 50s, I was exhausted, frustrated, and disappointed that no one seemed to appreciate my “help.” At 60, a light bulb went on. Control does not equal happiness. The world operated just fine without my interference. The kids goof up and they can actually problem solve without me. My husband does the laundry his way and I now say, ”Thank you,” rather than, “Thank you, but….”.
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21. Turkeys don’t have it so good
Turkeys and I share the same neck—a fleshy, jiggly wattle. Sigh. I’m not into plastic surgery, the only real “cure.” Instead, I now invest in cool scarves and high necked shirts. And turning up the collar of a button-down shirt works wonders.
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22. Forget presents; just give me your presence
When my friends ask what I want for my birthday, I tell them I want to do something together—lunch at a new restaurant, a trip to the museum, an afternoon movie, a walk. I don’t need more tchotsckes; I want time with my galpals. It’s experiences that we remember.
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23. Protecting my bones is worth it
I do strength training, get 10 minutes of vitamin D exposure several days a week (without sunscreen; it defeats the purpose), and I’ve added calcium to my diet in the form of milk, fat-free plain yogurt, fish, and dark greens. (The Harvard Medical School Family Health Guide is one of my bibles.) I’ve also reduced my chances of falling and breaking a bone by removing small area rugs and getting up slowly to avoid dizziness. Every little bit helps.
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24. It’s okay to pamper myself
After years of putting everyone else first…Need I say more?
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25. Take every opportunity to express love and gratitude
I’ve reached this milestone, so why wait to tell others how I feel? My favorite words: “I love you”. And “Thank you”.

Mr. PM today your are shying away from the public, tomorrow the public will shy away from you.

The Lion PM committed on the floor of the house that the people will be always kept informed of the truth.
Now, it is reported in the media (Pakistan Today) that the PM has cancelled his address to the Nation on the advice of some aides that since the government had decided to do away with the subsidies in the energy policy, the prime minister should use the MEDIA to project the government’s case to the public.

Mr. Prime Minister, if I was the PM, all such aides who tried to keep me afraid of the realities would have been fired, knowing very well the worth of the Media in any public uprising.

Public votes not the MEDIA votes made you the PM.

Mr. PM today your are shying away from the public, tomorrow the public will shy away from you.

US State Department’s 5 Twitter Messages to Me in Urdu and My Replies in English.

1.@USDOSDOT_Urdu: @nayyarahmad براہ مہربانی غلط خبريں اور بے بنياد کہانياں پھيلا کر ايران کے بارے ميں واضح امريکی موقف کے متعلق ابہام پيدا نا کریں

1. @nayyarahmad: @USDOSDOT_Urdu Reality bites?Indian defence ministers statement was reported by TOI not me. If u have guts force India to b away from Iran.

2. @USDOSDOT_Urdu: @nayyarahmad آپ يہ آسانی سے کيوں بھول جاتے ہيں کہ ايران پر اقوام متحدہ کی پابندياں لاگو ہيں

2. @nayyarahmad: @USDOSDOT_Urdu Only for Pakistan?

3. @USDOSDOT_Urdu: @nayyarahmad اقوام متحدہ کی پابنديوں کےتناظر ميں ايران کيساتھ تجارتی تعلقات رکھنے پرامریکی موقف ميں کوئی ابہام نہيں جو نہايت واضح ہے

3. @nayyarahmad: @USDOSDOT_Urdu if Iran is 2 b punished 4 so called nuclear program why U r silent over much developed Israeli illegal nuke program? Duplicity?

4. @USDOSDOT_Urdu: @nayyarahmad ہم نے خطے ميں انڈيا سميت تمام دوست ممالک پر واضح کیا ہے کہ یہ ان کے مفاد میں ہے کہ وہ ايران سے تجارتی سرگرمياں ترک کرديں

4. @nayyarahmad: @USDOSDOT_Urdu again this is your verbosity why no action under UN & US sanctions violation against India?

5. @USDOSDOT_Urdu: @nayyarahmad اقوام متحدہ کی موجودہ پابنديوں اور امريکی قوانين کےتحت ايران کيساتھ کسی قسم کی تجارتی سرگرمياں استوار رکھنا ممنوع ہے

5. @nayyarahmad: @USDOSDOT_Urdu if u r correct why r u silent over Iran’s trade relations with EU, Turkey, India & China? Why no action under UN sanctions?

Ambition is an earnest desire for achievement.

“Faith is daring to put your dream to the test. It is better to try to do something and fail than to try to do nothing and succeed.”

Robert H. Schuller (born 1926);
Pastor, author

“Every human has four endowments – self-awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom… The power to choose, to respond, to change.”

— Stephen Covey

Why USA is imposing conditions on release of Dr.Aafia Siddiqui? When can’t she be given the presidential pardon by the USA and sent back to Pakistan? Why such a harsh sentence for a fragile lady compared with the US serviceman who killed and burned the bodies of dozens of Afghans?

Pak doctors save Thane (India) man after mid-air heart attack | Mumbai Mirror | Jul 19, 2013

Pakistani officials allow unprecedented emergency landing and deploy ambulance to airport to take Vasant Bondale (76) to Aga Khan Univ
ersity Hospital, where doctors treat and release him in a fortnight.

Amid frequent reports of cross border firings along the LoC comes an India-Pakistan story to soften the heart of even the most ossified cynic.

The ministry of external affairs yesterday confirmed that on June 24, Vasant Bondale, a resident of Thane, was given life-saving treatment in a Karachi hospital after he suffered a heart attack on board an Istanbul-Mumbai flight. This despite the fact that Vasant, his wife Nalini, and her brother Vijay Phadnis, did not have Pakistani visas.

Nalini told Mirror yesterday, “I was not scared of landing in Pakistan as the priority was to save my husband. It was of course on my mind that we had no visas, but the Pakistani authorities never brought it up. In-fact, their cooperation is something that we don’t have words to express. They treated us like family.”

On June 24, Vasant (76) and Nalini (72) were on their way back to India after a 10-day Scandinavian tour when Vasant suffered a heart attack mid-flight. “It was around 3.30 am (IST). After finishing my dinner I wanted to discuss something with my husband. However, when he didn’t respond to my words I realised something was wrong,” Nalini said.

Our Lives Begin to End the Day We
Become
Silent about Things that Matter
~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

An appeal to the PM Pakistan, to make conditional, the grant of the MFN status and the normalisation of relations with India, with the withdrawal of Indian military and para military forces, from the occupied Kashmir and the Siachin.

India kills unarmed protestors (a must read letter published on 21 July, 2013 by the daily “Pakistan Observer”

Professor Kabil Khan

Sunday, July 21, 2013 – This is with reference to the news of six unarmed protestors that were killed when the Indian security forces opened fire upon them. The mindset of the Indian army is evident from its brutal handling of the innocent and unarmed people of Kashmir and the grotesque manner in which they are maimed and killed. It is also reflective of the collective Indian psyche that has legitimized the use of brute force in order to attain and maintain a dominant status in the region.

After acting as a brute force, with full blessings from its government, the Indian army has surelyforgotten how to act as a civilized one. To raid a seminary in the holy month of Ramadan where Muslims are more emotional and sensitized towards religious activity, is nothing but sheer mischief making on the part of the Indian soldiers.

First the Imam of a mosque was harassed and the holy Quar’an desecrated upon which the local people were fired upon indiscriminately when they protested this act of brutal violence. This, manner in which the Indian forces operate is surely nothing new as they are regular customers of HR violations. And all this is being done with the relentless support of the institutional culture of moral, political and juridical impunity. Indian writer and human rights activist Arundhaty Roy states that India will suffer because of what it has done in Kashmir. That the “troops involved in various heinous crimes including custodial killings, disappearances, rapes and declared accused through FIRs and other reports have evaded action which has resulted in making them habitualoffenders. These habitual offenders when deployed in other states will commit the same offences against innocent people.”

—Peshawar