Loud Thinking

Make Conflict Collaborative, Not Combative

Shying away from open, healthy conflict about work issues may make you feel like a nice person, but it’s an unproductive habit. Although conflict can be uncomfortable, it is the source of true innovation and a critical process in identifying and mitigating risks. Attention to your delivery can help you can maintain your self-image as a nice person — even in conflict. When dealing with someone who disagrees with you, try these tactics to remain collaborative, not combative:
Express your contrary opinion as an “and,” not a “but.” It’s not necessary for someone else to be wrong for you to be right.
Ask open-ended questions rather than stating conclusions. “How is that going to land with our customers?” feels much less aggressive than “Our customers will be angry.”

Adapted by HBR from “Conflict Strategies for Nice People” by Liane Davey.